Thursday, June 26, 2008

Sick of Stupid.


Warning: I'm not in a good mood, so if you are opposed to bitter sarcasm you might want to cease reading now.

T.S. Elliot said "We might remind ourselves that criticism is as inevitable as breathing, and that we should be none the worse for articulating what passes in our minds when we read a book and feel an emotion about it, for criticizing our own minds in their work of criticism. ". If you know me you'll know that I'm a big fan of criticism. I think the word Mock might be my favorite in the entire English language. If you do something stupid, you'd better believe that I will hold it against you, and use it to incite laughter amongst my peers. I’m about to criticize a little (a lot).

My bad mood has been exacerbated by the multitude of completely noxious people that seem to crop up pretty often lately. Stupid people are everywhere; I’m starting to believe that it’s going to rub off.

My tribute to the annoying people I’ve had to deal with lately:

I wouldn’t be me if I didn't completely hate one of my roommates. These days it's Amber. Oh yes, Amber. First of all is it some kind of general rule that I have an Asian roommate every time? Korean, Taiwanese, and Chinese I've seriously had them all. Let me tell you, they are the messiest roommates EVER. Maybe it’s coincidental, and maybe not; but the ones I’ve had are completely incapable of cleaning. Everybody knows that I like my kitchen, bathroom, and bedroom the way I like my fingernails: Immaculate. Something I’m sure was inherited from my father, and is probably a little obsessive, although not completely unreasonable. Whatever, part of living with other people is to learn to get along and to try not to tick them off too often. She’s the only roommate that has ticked me off enough for me to actually speak with. For the first time ever I told someone to keep their hands off my stuff. I did it in a more diplomatic way, of course.

Next I thought I would tell you the story about how I quit swearing. Not that it's an interesting story, but I like it. There is a person that I know, let's call them Riley (a nice gender ambiguous name), who is absolutely grotesque. I flatter myself in thinking that I never sounded as vulgar and crass as this person is, but if forced to face reality I was just as coarse. Anyway, I started cursing in high school. I had never really been exposed to profanity at home, so I just never swore. And one of my friends would continually badger me about it. One day I gave in and profaned just so she would stop taunting me. The teasing then proceeded to take a different direction because of course it sounded so unnatural and innocent coming from me. Feeling the need to prove myself, I slowly began to work it into my daily vocabulary. Certain words I didn't even know about until college (okay, just one)! Surprisingly I ended up with quite the unattractive mouth myself, and it came pretty naturally by that time. THANK GOODNESS for Riley, who taught me that swearing like I was only for gold-digging tramps with a lousy vocabulary and only hope of getting a spouse was by having innumerable plastic surgery procedures. Harsh you say? Probably, but really, are you surprised? My feelings for her are probably just inflated today, because this person is particularly Riley-esque, but I’m fairly certain I can’t stand her 24/7. Riley in all of his/her vulgarity inspired me to abstain from profanity from then on.

(I totally gave it away- but I don’t think you get the depth of my loathing for her without it.)

Anyway, I’ve got plenty more ammunition, but this post is really long so maybe I’ll make it a two parter!

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

CAN'T STOP LAUGHING.

TIM. WATCHES. FELICITY.

UPDATE...

TIM ONLY CAUGHT 15 MINUTES OF FELICITY ONE TIME. I JUST HAD TO MERCILESSLY MOCK HIM FOR KNOWING WHAT IT WAS AT ALL.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Tagging No More.

Okay everyone- I'm calling this my goodbye tag. I'm so sick of tagging. It just isn't interesting. So this is my last tag, unless somebody comes up with one that is totally clever! Peace out!

Four jobs I have had:
1. Receptionist at Access Title
2. Manager at Standard Optical
3. Optician at Timpanogos Vision Center
4. Robinson Construction- I'm not exactly sure what my job title is...Tim?

Four movies I have watched more than once:
1. The Departed
2. Waitress
3. Labyrinth
4. Donnie Darko

Four places I have lived:
1. Provo, Utah
2. Rexburg, ID (resounding yuck!)
3. Provo, UT
4. Yeah, I think I need to move.

Four TV shows I watch (I don't watch any current ones!):
1. Freaks and Geeks (best. show. ever.).
2. My So-Called Life
3. Arrested Development
4. Felicity

Four places I have been:
1. Bermuda
2. Cozumel, Mexico
3. New York, New York
4. Jamaica

Four people who email regularly (I NEVER email, but when I do it's to these 4):
1. Mom
2. Myself- I like to remind myself of things
3. Melissa
4. My Aunt Jean!

Four of my favorite foods:
1. Baked potatoes with sour cream
2. Chicken Cordon Bleu
3. Kung Pao Chicken
4. Gnocchi Pasta


Four places I would like to visit:
1. Greece
2. Prague, Czech Republic
3. Croatia
4. London, England

Four things I am looking forward to in the coming year:
1. Lake Powell- I haven't been able to go in about 3 years.
2. Moving out of my apartment and away from my stupid roommate Amber.
3. Jared's birthday- he gets so excited that you can't help but be excited too!
4. Corn on the cob.

My Boss!



I am pretty sure that I have the world’s strangest boss. Don't get me wrong, Eric Robinson is great, but oh, so eccentric.

Just a few things that make Eric, Eric:

Employees at Robinson Construction have to back into parking stalls, because while backing out Eric almost nailed some car driving through. I should probably mention that he was on his cell phone and gets monthly letters from The Utah Safety Council that threaten to take away his license. So now I have to back my car in every morning-I even signed a contract stating that I will reverse to park! I might add that I have not even had a ticket in the past two years (knock on wood). The only person who doesn't back in: Eric (and his kids who work here also).

The other day Tim came into work to find the front door unlocked and police in the basement looking for an intruder. Eric had come in early that morning and left for Wyoming without turning off the alarm. In case you were wondering our alarm sounds like a million dying cats- he had to notice. I suppose that he thought that it would sort itself out. Tim is now in charge of finding a simpler key pad. Maybe an off/on switch?

One morning Eric was just fed up, he couldn't log on to his computer (which I guess is a regular occurrence). He was so mad and ranting about how he can never get on his dang computer, so we got the IT guy down here and he couldn't log on either. Finally we called Eric's son and asked him what the password was. Not even close to the password Eric thought it was.

Eric is forever picking things off the floor- even when there is nothing there. He will seriously walk down the hallway picking up things the vacuum missed. It's extra special when it's just the light coming through the blinds-cause he'll keep chipping away until he's successful.

I always thought my father had the world’s most overactive nose. Not so, Eric will walk up and down the office spraying that nasty glade cinnamon apple spray. So strong it makes your eye's water and your nose sting. I can't tell you how ecstatic I was when we finally ousted the fish tank!

He also wants me to check the voicemail messages every 15 minutes, no joke, every 15 minutes. Is that really necessary (especially when no calls are missed)?

When Eric is out on a job site he will call about 30 times a day. Seriously, the man is incapable of delegating. He'll ask you the same thing repeatedly.

He has a major thing for fake trees; you know the faux ficus ones? There are 3 in the reception area alone. It's a bit much.

The aforementioned computer incident is just the tip of the ice burg. Eric is incapable of understanding how anything digital works. Sometimes I'll suggest something that will make a project easier and he will shut it down just because he doesn't think technology is capable of it. It's actually pretty comical.


Ps. I didn't have a picture of Eric, so I just used one from a job site! I'll try to find one!

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Found!



Found these at Target yesterday! Best chocolate ever! I haven't seen any past the state of New York so I'm probably over excited that they are finally in Utah!

Ps. Kunsperflake is german for Cornflake.

Monday, June 16, 2008

List of Loves: Summer Edition

1. Love pink grapefruit-there is nothing more refreshing than a cold grapefruit in the morning! You can also have a Cranberry grapefruit sobe if you're thirsty or grab some grapefruit gelato for a summer treat!

2. Gladiator Sandals- I just might have to pick these Michael Kors up, they were really great on and so comfortable!

3. Summer Blockbusters! I know most of them aren't worth the hype (Spiderman 3, anyone?), but there is still something fantastic about them.
4. Along those same lines summer also brings some really great music. I do believe Coldplay's new album dropped today!

5. Vacay! All those fun trips you were planning all winter come into effect!
6. Bake sales- I kinda wish I could still have one. My sister M and I used to make bank on those things, and not to brag but we can really bake! Maybe M and I should get together and have one for old time sake-now that we're older and can make rad stuff we can still do well. Whaddya think M?
7. I don't think I can reiterate enough- SPRINKLERS! I used to love some me crazy daisy and slip 'n slide (granted, mine were never that cool, ours was more of a tarpaulin with water on it).

8. A lot of students leave. What? They can't drive! Local residents can take back south Provo- if we wanted to anyway... we'd like the option at least.
9. Lawn mowing for some reason I really like the sound of people mowing their lawns. You have to admit it's a summery sound!
10. Water sports- for those of us who wait all year round to finally go to Lake Powell (or commonly known as Heaven on Earth) for fun tan time!


Ps. See the guy flying through the air in that last one? That's why they discontinued those tubes!

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Yet Another...

if you were a... tag: which I stole from Lyn and my mother!


if you were an animal, which would you be...
Elephant, they are so radically bomb. I'm not fond of many, maybe a tiger, the original cool cat.


if you were a city. which would you be...
Blast, this is hard, I'm torn between about 10 different cities. I'll say London, diverse and British, it doesn't get much better.

if you were a flower. which would you be...
The orange blossom, it reminds me of Bermuda and India.

if you were a vegetable. which would you be...
Cauliflower- oh, sooo delicious.

if you were a color. which would you be...
Because black is not a color- I'm going to have to say Navy Blue. Totes (new slang for totally if you didn't know cause you aren't cool like me) in and always a classic.

if you were a fruit. which would you be...
peach- evaporated milk and sugar make it especially bomb diggity.

if you were a season. which would you be...
I think I've established this in other blog entries- Autumn.

if you were a shoe. which would you be...
This is tough- obviously a heel of the stiletto variety. I seem to be fond of anything bright, patent, and BCBG. Of course I also love my N.Y.L.A. white flats...tough call.


if you were a vehicle. which would you be...
Mercedes G Wagon- Amg, of course. You either love it or you hate it. But everyone knows what it can do! Or a Range Rover but they depreciate too quickly.

if you were an appliance. which would you be...
lately I've turned into a complete neat freak, the kind that cleans the kitchen and bathroom daily, so maybe a dishwasher.

if you were a Disney character. which would you be...
Screw Disney, I'd be Anastasia from Twentieth Century Fox, for 2 reasons:
A. Russian Princess
B. Dimitri.

if you were a dessert. which would you be...
I would be a lemon creme from Mrs. Cavanaughs. Delish.

if you were a time of day. which would you be...
I really love twilight-everything just seems suspended, not to mention killer sunsets!

if you were a cereal. which would you be...
I'm a huge fan of frosted flakes, there Grrrreat!

if you were an instrument. which would you be...
Penny whistle- totes awesome. Can you tell that I'm completely hyper whilst writing this. I'm not usually a believer in abbreviating words.

Monday, June 9, 2008

Sorry Jen!



Sometimes I Have an Absurd Fear of Spiders!
Okay, so Friday night my good friend Jen G. and I had a sleep over (mostly because she was worried about me because Natalie left earlier that day). After our evening of debauchery and decadence,joking- we ate lots of gross food and watched El Orfanato and part of the Bob Dylan movie I'm Not There, we finally decided to go to sleep.
Poor Jen, who has a hard time sleeping anyway, was rudely awakened by me screaming: Jen! Jen! Because I thought we were currently being swarmed by hundreds of foul, filthy spiders. Not only did I probably wake Jen in a manner that I can only assume would arouse feelings of terror, but I then made her get out of bed while I flipped on the lights...I failed to mention that it was 4 in the morning! Sad and remnant of a 6 year old. Apparently I suffer from night terrors at the age of 22! Interestingly enough Night terrors are brought on by copious amounts of stress combined with sleep deprivation! I've suffered from both as of late, hopefully now I can return to normal!

I was going to post a picture of spiders but honestly they were freaking me out!

Como Se Dice: Mess!

I really need more bookshelves! Considering I have boxes and boxes of books and no place to put them. Only the my absolute favorites made the cut. Drat! I hate apartments, no place for anything! Maybe I should get rid of the pretty things that are there for pretty sake!



I really love Peonies and my parents finally came into bloom, so of course I had to snip a few off the bush. I didn't take pictures until they were fully bloomed they are much more beautiful when they are still budded.

What Exactly is Change to Sen. Barack Hussein Obama?


Before you all decide that Barack Hussein Obama is the candidate for you, I thought you should all take a look at his voting record. Sure the guy can speak and is definitely not as evil as a Clinton, BUT do you really want a president who can't make a decision on the important bills that come his way?

For a candidate so fixated on change Obama certainly seems to be just fine with the status quo.

Click here to see Obama's full voting record.

87 Nay's
234 Yea's
182 NV (Present, Not Voting)


321 votes cast to 182 NV doesn't show much conviction, not very comforting in a politician!

In the past 4 years he refrained from voting on 3 of 4 major abortion bills.
This year alone he did not vote on any of the 4 housing and property bills.
For Budget, Spending, and Tax bills in the past 4 years has voted 26 yea's, 12 nay's, and 37 NV.
In the past 4 years voted NV to half of the Foreign Aid and Policy Bills.
Voted Nay on the Same Sex Marriage Resolution.

I forgot to mention that Obama supports a National Fingerprint Registration. I'm totally against that, you know, in case I ever commit a crime.

Little Nat is Gone!

Some of our goodbye pictures (next time I'll wear make-up and do my hair)!

I'm not really sure what on earth we were doing! I really need to sign up for one of those classes on photography!



Pictured: Amanda T., Natalie W., and myself.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Tardy.

I know I'm a bit behind in the posting- right now I'm spending as much time with my BFF before she moves to the big bad city of New York to live out her dancing and dating dreams! After Friday I'll be horribly and completely alone and back to blogging! I mostly wanted to apologize to my faithful readers (mom) for not blogging although most of you have been pretty absent yourselves (hint)!

I do have some upcoming posts, I'm just too busy to perfect them! Tata for now!