Warning: I'm not in a good mood, so if you are opposed to bitter sarcasm you might want to cease reading now.
T.S. Elliot said "We might remind ourselves that criticism is as inevitable as breathing, and that we should be none the worse for articulating what passes in our minds when we read a book and feel an emotion about it, for criticizing our own minds in their work of criticism. ". If you know me you'll know that I'm a big fan of criticism. I think the word Mock might be my favorite in the entire English language. If you do something stupid, you'd better believe that I will hold it against you, and use it to incite laughter amongst my peers. I’m about to criticize a little (a lot).
My bad mood has been exacerbated by the multitude of completely noxious people that seem to crop up pretty often lately. Stupid people are everywhere; I’m starting to believe that it’s going to rub off.
My tribute to the annoying people I’ve had to deal with lately:
I wouldn’t be me if I didn't completely hate one of my roommates. These days it's Amber. Oh yes, Amber. First of all is it some kind of general rule that I have an Asian roommate every time? Korean, Taiwanese, and Chinese I've seriously had them all. Let me tell you, they are the messiest roommates EVER. Maybe it’s coincidental, and maybe not; but the ones I’ve had are completely incapable of cleaning. Everybody knows that I like my kitchen, bathroom, and bedroom the way I like my fingernails: Immaculate. Something I’m sure was inherited from my father, and is probably a little obsessive, although not completely unreasonable. Whatever, part of living with other people is to learn to get along and to try not to tick them off too often. She’s the only roommate that has ticked me off enough for me to actually speak with. For the first time ever I told someone to keep their hands off my stuff. I did it in a more diplomatic way, of course.
Next I thought I would tell you the story about how I quit swearing. Not that it's an interesting story, but I like it. There is a person that I know, let's call them Riley (a nice gender ambiguous name), who is absolutely grotesque. I flatter myself in thinking that I never sounded as vulgar and crass as this person is, but if forced to face reality I was just as coarse. Anyway, I started cursing in high school. I had never really been exposed to profanity at home, so I just never swore. And one of my friends would continually badger me about it. One day I gave in and profaned just so she would stop taunting me. The teasing then proceeded to take a different direction because of course it sounded so unnatural and innocent coming from me. Feeling the need to prove myself, I slowly began to work it into my daily vocabulary. Certain words I didn't even know about until college (okay, just one)! Surprisingly I ended up with quite the unattractive mouth myself, and it came pretty naturally by that time. THANK GOODNESS for Riley, who taught me that swearing like I was only for gold-digging tramps with a lousy vocabulary and only hope of getting a spouse was by having innumerable plastic surgery procedures. Harsh you say? Probably, but really, are you surprised? My feelings for her are probably just inflated today, because this person is particularly Riley-esque, but I’m fairly certain I can’t stand her 24/7. Riley in all of his/her vulgarity inspired me to abstain from profanity from then on.
(I totally gave it away- but I don’t think you get the depth of my loathing for her without it.)
Anyway, I’ve got plenty more ammunition, but this post is really long so maybe I’ll make it a two parter!
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