The glory of being a receptionist.

Working for an eye doctor I meet many a stupid people, here are a few examples:

"Yes, you do still have to pay. I understand you can't see your bill."

"Yes, some frames do cost that much. We like to keep them in stock for the people that care what they look like."

"Oh no, your kids aren't ill-behaved. I wanted to clean all the mirror's, re-organize the glasses, and re-stack the magazines."

Me: "Hello?"
Patient: "Hi, I have Phlegmonous Dacryocystitis."
Me: "Great, can I make you an appointment?"

Me:"Your total comes to $408.76, how did you want to pay?"
Patient: "Is that how much I pay?"
Me: "Yes."
Patient: "Didn't my insurance cover anything?"
Me: "About four hundred dollars."
Patient: "Then why is it so much?"
Me: "Because you're half blind!"

Patient: "Hey I'm calling because my contacts are really irritating my eye, is there anything I can do?"
Me: "Take them out."
Patient: "But I need them to see."
Me: "Don't you have glasses?"
Patient: "No, they were too expensive."
Me: "I guess next time you'd better get some, in the mean time try a new pair."
Patient: "Okay thanks."
Me: "Yep."

Me: "Thank you for calling, how can I help you?"
Patient: "I was just wondering if you had an Optometrist or an Opthamologist?"
Me: "We have 2 Optometrists."
Patient: "Now, what is the difference again?"
Me: "In addition to medical school, an Opthamologist also goes on to specialize on the eye. An Optomotrist is an eye doctor, they don't go to medical school, but a school completely for eyes.
Patient: "So which one should I see?"

I dedicate this to all the stupid people in the world.